(Chuck Muth) – I’m not sure who the original author of this was, but it’s brilliant.
It exposes just how stupid the “safety” protocols for restaurants, ordered by Nevada Gov. Steve Sisolak, are.
Thank you to my friend Bobby Ellis who forwarded it on to me…
- Arrive at restaurant and fish your three-month-old, single-use surgical mask out of the car’s filthy cupholder (still slightly sticky from this morning’s 84oz diet Pepsi).
- Strap up with three-month old single-use surgical mask.
*MAGICAL ANTI-GERM BARRIER ENGAGE!!!*
- Proceed into restaurant, opening door with same handle grabbed by 200 people so far today.
- Hostess has immediate seating for your woke party-of-three. Walk past entire restaurant of unmasked people. It’s OK, they’re sitting.
- Sit down.
*SEATED ANTI-GERM FORCEFIELD ENGAGE!!!*
- Safely within your anti-germ forcefield, remove mask. Browse menu while making relaxed inhales of the same recirculated AC air previously inside the lungs of the 200 people that also grabbed the door handle.
- Waitress drops off drinks bare handed.
- Grab drink with your bare hand. Sip leisurely, secure in knowing you’re within your anti-germ forcefield of seatedness.
- Too many drinks. Need to pee. Don the magical anti-germ barrier mask as you leave your anti-germ forcefield of seatedness.
- Walk past 40 unmasked restaurant patrons. Open bathroom with same door knob grabbed by 100 other people so far today.
- Return to table past same 40 unmasked restaurant patrons.
- Remove mask. Once again safe in your anti-germ forcefield of seatedness. Waitress takes your sweaty drink glass with her bare hand, refills, hands back to you. You accept with your bare hand. Grab some bread and eat it. Same hand. Yum Yum.
- Meal complete. Mask on. Walk past 40 unmasked patrons. Make full body contact with at least 4 people waiting at the hostess stand as you squeeze your way back to the door – no matter, they’re all also wearing their magical anti-germ barriers.
- Grab exit handle, which you are now the 220th person of the day to touch. Eating out successful.
- Breathe a sigh of relief knowing that even after leaving the protection of your home and venturing out into the scary world of the public, you are essentially sterile thanks to your state approved methods of magical germ mitigation.
* I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to filet Kamala Harris better than Tulsi Gabbard did in that Democrat primary debate. I was wrong. Pence “murderized” her.
* It’s way past time to get rid of the Commission on Presidential Debates AND stop having media personalities moderate them. Press should COVER the debates, not participate in them.
* If Joe Biden is afraid to debate Donald Trump live & in person on October 15 (they could easily do a debate WITHOUT the Presidential Debate Commission’s permission), then I say let Mike Pence & Kamala Harris go at it that night for a 2nd time.
* Democrats famously told us we had to pass ObamaCare to find out what was in it. Now Joe Biden is telling us we have to elect him to find out where he stands on packing the Supreme Court. Will Americans fall for this trick again?
* According to the latest figures from the Nevada Department of Health, there have been 84,593 confirmed cases of CHINA-19 in Nevada and 82,936 of them have survived and recovered – a 98% survival rate. And for this Democrats and Republicans in the Legislature continue to allow Gov. Sisolak to wield his economy-killing “emergency” powers?
* By executive order almost two months ago, President Trump approved an additional $300/week for those on unemployment. To the best of my knowledge, none of Nevada’s unemployed have received this money yet. Why not? When? #SisolakSucks
* UNR – under the new “leadership” of ex-Gov. Brian Sandoval – has announced it will go 100% online after Thanksgiving due to a CHINA-19 spike. How much of a rebate will students receive now that they can no longer attend classes in person? And if the “surge” in cases is so dangerous, why wait another month and a half? #SandovalSucks
* Clark County announced it will be spending $5.3 million in tax dollars to pay the electric bills of some 16,000 people who haven’t been paying their electric bills during the #SisolakShutdown. So basically everybody who continued paying their electric bills for the last six months are “suckers.”
* A far-left staffer for liberal Clark County Commissioner Justin “Gun Grabber” Jones shared a list of “progressive candidates” he’s urging liberals to vote for on Twitter today. Among them: Assembly-RINOs Tom Roberts, Greg Hafen & Melissa Hardy.
* The liberal Las Vegas Sun has endorsed 24 Nevada state assembly candidates. 23 of them Democrats. The only Republican? Assemblyman Glen Leavitt (District 23). The Sun certainly knows a true-blue RINO when it sees one. That’s why I’m supporting the only conservative candidate in that race: Bill Hoge of the Independent American Party.
* Speaking of Assemblyman Leavitt, the new Nevada Republican Party platform calls for repeal of ex-Gov. Brian Sandoval’s “Commerce Tax.” Leavitt OPPOSES repealing this tax on businesses that are already getting creamed by the #SisolakShutdown. If you run into him, ask why? And don’t let him mealy-mouth his way out of it.
Personal Recommendations for 2020 Nevada General Election*
Click here: muthstruths.com/2020generalelection/
* NOTE: Subject to change at any time before Election Day
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
“And Iran knows that, and they’ve been put on notice. If you f*ck around with us, if you do something bad to us. We are going to do things to you that have never been done before.” – President Donald Trump today on the Rush Limbaugh Show