Three Entries for the Stuck on Stupid Parade

Dan Schwartz:  Stuck on Stupid I

It’s really proving increasingly difficult to explain just how ridiculous the gubernatorial campaign of Nevada State Treasurer Dan Schwartz is.  There just aren’t enough adjectives in my Thesaurus.

The CLOSEST poll in his doomed challenge to Attorney General Adam Laxalt for the GOP nomination has him down 55-4 percent.

Yes.  FOUR percent.  For a sitting statewide elected official.  That is BEYOND embarrassing.

But it hasn’t stopped Dan Quixote from further embarrassing himself in media interview after media interview where he pitches the galactically stupid idea that if he’s elected governor (insert uncontrollable laughter here) he’ll single-handedly shut off all roads leading into the new Las Vegas stadium until the Raiders football team agrees to re-direct $750 million in tourist taxes to Nevada’s public school failure factories instead.

Want to know just how nuts this notion is?

Even Democrat uber-liberal gubernatorial candidate Chris Giunchigliani – who hates the entire stadium project with the “white hot intensity of a thousand suns” – accepts that this done deal ain’t gonna be undone.

When asked about my criticism of his stupid proposal by Sam Shad on Nevada Newsmakers recently, the brilliantly articulate Mr. Schwartz belched up this beaut of a response…

“Uh, Muth, he dead.  I, I don’t take anything he says beyond what it, what it is is words from someone in the grave. Uh, what he says is, is not true.  Uh, what what it’s half true.  In other words which is what, what, what our, our Mr. Muth he dead, uh, is known for.”

I think Olson Johnson in Blazing Saddles put it best when he responded…

“Now who can argue with that? I think we’re all indebted to (Dan Schwartz) for clearly stating what needed to be said. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.”

Look, there has NEVER been a rationale for Schwartz’s run for governor – aside from his own oversized ego.

There is, however, an increasing rationale for keeping him away from sharp objects.

Dean Heller:  Stuck on Stupid II

Nevada Democrats – under the “leadership” of its chairman, Li’l Bill McCurdy #2 – have filed a stupid ethics complaint against Nevada U.S. Sen. Dean “Never Trump” Heller for using a photograph lifted off Flickr on his campaign website.  Lame-o.

Speaking of lame-o, Heller’s JV spokesmouth, Keith Schipper, called the “frivolous complaint” a “shameless attempt to distract Nevadans from the fact that she (Democrat opponent, Rep. Jacky Rosen) has been a complete failure in Congress.”

Now who can argue with that? I think we’re all indebted to Keith Schipper for clearly stating what needed to be said.  Not only was it authentic DC swamp gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.

Oy, vey.

Derek Uehara: Stuck on Stupid III

Here’s the headline from an embarrassing email I received this morning from Republican Nevada state treasurer candidate Derek Uehara…

State Treasurer Candidate Derek Uehara’s Message of
“Investing in Nevada’s Future” Resonating throughout Nevada

Who in the hell writes such claptrap?  Is Mr. Uehara actually PAYING somebody to come up with this?  If so, he needs to (a) ask for a refund, or (b) sue for malpractice.

First of all, nobody’s even heard this message, let alone it’s “resonating throughout Nevada.”

Secondly, it’s a dumb message backed up by absolutely nothing.  There’s no there there.

You could slap that slogan on the campaign of ANY candidate from ANY party running for ANY office in Nevada.  And it would still be nothing but a meaningless bowl of mush.

Oh, but that headline was NOTHING.  The Stupid Machine was just getting warmed up.  Here’s the first paragraph…

“If the number of endorsements is any indication, Nevada State Treasurer candidate Derek Uehara is well on his way to winning the Republican primary.”

OK, let’s start with this…

First, the number of endorsement is NOT an indication that anyone is on their way to winning a race.  Endorsements can be a dime a dozen and, at best, can have a minor impact on a race, depending on who the endorsees are.

And with that said…

Secondly, Mr. Uehara lists only eight – EIGHT! – endorsements; only three of whom I’ve ever heard of.  He then goes on to claim that “This number of endorsements is rare for non-officeholders.”

Um, no.  What’s rare is that a candidate would actually BRAG about having only eight endorsements from people and organization’s no one has ever heard of.

Mr. Uehara concluded his email with this…

“Our message of investing in Nevada’s future is resonating with people throughout the state.  Our residents understand that to maintain and improve the quality of life in Nevada, we must invest in our greatest asset – our young people. They know that this has a direct impact on enhancing our business climate and maintaining the safety within our state.” 

Now who can argue with that? I think we’re all indebted to Derek Uehara for clearly stating what needed to be said.  Not only was it authentic political consultant gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.

Oy, vey.