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Captain Underpants Comes to the Rescue of Damsels Who are Not in Distress

Jason Guinasso recently inked perhaps the most Self-righteous, Asinine and Dishonest (acronym, SAD) column I’ve ever read in Nevada – and that’s saying something considering how we’ve been infested by the bleatings of liberal blogger Jon Ralston for over 30 years now.

Guinasso is heading up a reported effort to outlaw legal brothels in Lyon County.  But before getting to the merits – or, rather, the lack thereof – of his SAD arguments, let’s first connect some political dots…

Guinasso is a failed 2016 legislative candidate who was accused of not living in the Reno-area district where he ran.  He was put up in the Republican primary by the GOP “establishment” that wanted to block conservative candidate Lisa Krasner from taking the seat abandoned by RINO (Republican in Name Only) former Assemblyman Randy Kirner.

Guinasso was endorsed by Lt. Gov. Mark Hutchison, a running buddy of tax-hiking Assemblyman James Oscarson.  Hutchison’s law firm is representing the people trying to put the anti-brothel measure on the ballot.  After losing his race, Guinasso went to work for Hutchison’s law firm and is the legal beagle assigned to the initiative.

Dennis Hof owns the only four legal brothels in Lyon County.  Hof is running against Oscarson.  And I’m a paid adviser to Hof’s campaign.  Now you know the political landscape, so onto Guinasso’s SAD commentary…

First the Dishonest aspect…

Guinasso’s rant is right out of the left’s playbook when it comes to immigration.  Just as amnesty agitators regularly refuse to acknowledge the difference between legal immigration and illegal immigration, Guinasso’s SAD rant intentionally conflates Nevada’s legal brothels with illegal prostitution around the rest of the country.

The Asinine part – or at least one of the many – is a fictional conversation he constructs whereby a father’s 14-year-old daughter says, “When I grow up I want to be a prostitute.”

“Like most dads,” Guinasso wrote, “I could not imagine having the above conversation with my daughter because the truth is that no little girl dreams of being a prostitute.”

Oh, puh-lease.  The same could be said for all kinds of other jobs.  For example, how many little girls say, “When I grow up I want to be a burger-flipper or a clerk at the DMV” (not that there’s anything wrong with that)?

Guinasso goes on to cite all manner of statistics and figures, all of which are easily countered.  As the saying goes, figures don’t lie…but liars figure.

However, the most obnoxious and insulting part of this SAD commentary is Guinasso’s “male privilege” Self-righteousness, seemingly born from watching too many re-runs of Pretty Woman.  This guy obviously fancies himself as Richard Gere – only on a crusade to “save” ALL women from prostitution, not just Julia Roberts.

“I want to be a part of a new Nevada narrative that honors women for who they are and the endless potential they have to live, work and lead in our great state,” he declares from up on his high horse perch, “not the old Nevada narrative that tolerates allowing women to be bought and sold as an object or a commodity.”

So these women who are voluntarily and without coercion working in Nevada’s legal brothels are “slaves” and Captain Underpants will no longer “tolerate” it on their behalf?  Got it.

But Guinasso-Gere was just getting warmed up.  In a television interview he preached…

“And I would tell those women they are worth far more than what a man or woman pay them to have sex; that they have far more potential, far more value than their bodies have to offer.”

Could this man be any more condescending to the adult women who have chosen this line of work of their own free will?  As another old saying goes, “Who died and made you king?”  Indeed, who the heck are you to decide for them what their “potential” and “value” is?

Look, if you have religious objections to prostitution, fine.  Then don’t work in a legal brothel.  And don’t patronize legal brothels.

But to try to impose YOUR moral beliefs on others who don’t share them is not only insulting to the very concept of freedom and liberty in America, but the antithesis of Nevada’s historical “live and let live” heritage.

I could go on and on defending the choices these adult women have made of their own free will, but trust me – they don’t need no man to come to their rescue, including me.

Which is why – since this self-righteous white knight has publicly threatened the livelihoods of these ladies – I challenged him to “man up” and publicly debate a pair of the legal sex workers he’s trying to put out of work with his ballot initiative.

The first is Alice Little, who works at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Lyon County.

I’ve never met Alice, but I recently listened to an extensive podcast interview she did with Tim Ferriss, author of The Four Hour Workweek.  And let me tell you, this young lady is extremely intelligent, extremely articulate and extremely passionate in defending the profession she’s chosen for herself.

And if you have ANY notion that Alice is being “exploited,” as Guinasso alleges, she’ll shoot it down in seven seconds flat.  This is a Momma Grizzly wrapped in bunny fur.

The other is Christina Parreira.  I met her in Las Vegas last July at Freedom Fest and accompanied her to an interview with legendary “live and let live” libertarian John Stossel.

Christina isn’t just a legal sex worker in Nevada.  She’s also a PhD student in the Department of Sociology at UNLV who has been researching and writing her doctoral thesis on prostitution.  And let me tell you something, this gal ain’t no shrinking violet either.

But in response to my challenge for Mr. Guinasso to debate these two strong, powerful, knowledgeable and articulate (not to mention beautiful, if can indulge my inner male chauvinist pig just a bit) women, here’s what he wrote on Twitter…

“I will debate Mr. Hoff (sic), not the women he is exploiting. . . . I am not anti-sexworker and I do not view them as the adversary in this debate.”


First, I double-dog dare him to accuse Alice and Christina of being “exploited” in a public forum.  They will clean…his…clock.

Secondly this guy’s claim of not being “anti-sexworker” is absolutely absurd considering his tip-of-the-spear role in taking away their ability to continue working legally in their chosen field.

And while he may not consider them his “adversary in this debate,” I guaran-darn-tee you they see HIM as such since success in his patronizing jihad would take food out of their mouths and put ‘em out on the street…literally.

So come on, Captain Underpants.  Hike up your big boy britches and face Alice and Christina in a public forum over your crusade.  I realize it’d be two-on-one, but hey, let’s face it: You’re big tough guy going up against two little girls who you think need you to “save” them and their dreams.

Man up or shut up.


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