A Blind Democrat Walks into a Bar

(Chuck Muth) – I’m still digging out from all the emails that backed up on me this week while I was in Carson City, but thought I’d share this story to lighten the mood while the Legislature’s in session and carry you through the weekend…

A blind Democrat walked into the hotel bar after a recent Nevada GOP Central Committee meeting.  He found his way to a stool next to me and ordered a Bud Light (naturally).

After sitting there for a few minutes, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a joke about dumb Republicans?”

The bar immediately fell absolutely silent.

Being the nice, thoughtful guy I am, I leaned over and said, “Before you tell that joke, I think it’s only fair, given that you’re blind, that you should know five things.

1.)  The man at the door is Republican Kevin Child, the six-foot, 340-pound body guard, chauffeur and personal valet to the Nevada Republican Party chairman who knows karate, judo and three other Japanese words.

2.)  The girl to his right is Mindy Robinson, a former Republican congressional candidate who, when not shooting off her mouth, packs a pistol in her bra – unless she’s on a movie set shooting love scenes.

3.)  Standing behind you is Rob Tyree, a Republican expert at disrupting GOP meetings with parliamentary procedures and meaningless resolutions who keeps a pair of brass knuckles in his pocket next to his bottle of anti-psychotic pills.

4.)  At the table behind him is Rob “Hot Lips” Lauer, a mentally-challenged Republican blogger who’s sitting on a baseball bat and performs as a professional wrestler in Women of Wrestling.

5.)  And the woman sitting on the other side of you is Republican National Committeewoman Sigal Chattah, a former high-school weight-lifter who threatens to hang from a crane anyone she disagrees with.

“Now, think about it seriously,” I warned.  “Do you still want to tell that joke about dumb Republicans?”

That man thought about it for a second, shook his head, and said, “No, not if it means I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

I now return you to our regular programming…

Muth’s Truths PLUS+

If you’re not an Inner Circle Club member yet, here’s what you missed this morning in my Muth’s Truth’s PLUS+ member e-newsletter…

• Megan Kelly’s blistering mic-drop on that idiot Keith Olberman (you might wanna put some ice on that, Keith!)
• The best argument I’ve heard yet in opposition to a “Convention of States”
• Washoe County manager under withering fire over controversial election department contract
• Judge declares shady Clark County commissioner a liar
• A serious legal question about Question 3 – the open primaries and ranked choice voting initiative – and what the GOP is (or isn’t) doing about it

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7 Worst Habits of Highly Unelectable People

1. Picking the wrong race
2. Picking the wrong district
3. Picking the wrong issues
4. Picking the wrong time
5. Picking the wrong consultants
6. Picking unnecessary fights with the media
7. Picking door-knocking over fundraising

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

“The American Association of Political Consultants (AAPC), America’s only bipartisan association of political professionals, announced today the recipients of the AAPC Campaign Excellence Awards for exceptional work during the 2022 cycle. … Campaign of the Year: Joe Lombardo for Governor.” – Nevada News & Views, 4/27/23

Mr. Muth is president of Citizen Outreach, publisher of Nevada News & Views, and founder of CampaignDoctor.com.  You can sign up for his conservative, Nevada-focused e-newsletter at MuthsTruths.com.  His views are his own.